Is there a way to join these IRC shenanigans on mobile? I'm close to caving, but not if I have to get on my desktop.

Use IRCCloud. It's like an IRC bouncer, only better: your connections only ever exist at the remote server, so you don't need to worry about ports being open wherever you are. It has a really good web client that works in any modern browser, plus excellent mobile clients for iOS and Android (they even have notifications built in, so if your name gets mentioned you'll be pinged on your device).

Best of all, it's free for basic usage. It used to need an invite but it's open to anyone to sign up now.

And there are good PC clients like Xchat and Hydra.

The address straight from a client is irc[dot]teamschoolyd[dot]org[slash]6667

Code Name: Schooly with the Power of Water

Description:

One day after his anime club's bake sale, young Dennis Schoob noticed he could control water, liquids, and wetness. He became Schooly D to mask his identity, lest his enemies find his anime collection and mock him/kill his friends and family. He can get people wet. His secret move is the splash.

Code Name: Kanbouquet

Description:

kanbo with the amazing power of smellikiesis, the power over all smells, both creating and sensing them. Also that girl is shooting a gun straight in the air.

Code Name: TDSpiral

Description:

The power to draw goodish and mack on ladies with his victory swole. He can also power up and transform into TDVictoryLap.

Code Name: TDVictoryLap

Description:

The transformation of TDSpiral into a swole of pure victory. He wins more than he loses.

Code Name: Dr. Professor Vagueness

Description:

With the power of time travel, but not a memory of what timeline changed, also an electromagnet.

Code Name: The Incredible Bonk

Description:

As a child young BoneKin's clonkers were irradiated by a stray Battlebonk. Now whenever his jimmies are rustled, he transforms into an unstoppable monster known as the Incredible Bonk.

Code Name: Jilly "The" Bean

Description:

Raised in the cruel depths of Scotland Yard, Jilly has all the power of a real human bean and a real hero.

Code Name: AFKapowaz

Description:

Damaged during a temporal displacement accident, AFKapowaz compulsively dissipates into a parallel dimension mid-conversation. Also, he has the power to..... melt.

Code Name: YEvenTrypok

Description:

Water marsupial turned trillionaire playboy, Yapok has two unique powers. A) The power of owning a PS4, which he obtained brokering exclusivities between Sony and Activision, and B) The power to give up, which is really useful in the world of corporate investment.

Code Name: Nartcruller

Description:

Not much is know about the Nartcruller. This much is known, he can teleport, and he has that sausage encase he gets hungry, pretty useful. I heard he once hid in the dark until somebody came by and totally spooked them. Pretty spooky.

Code Name: Captain Battlebonk

Description:

The leader of the IRC Avengers, nice guy, and best friend to everyone in a personal and general sense, Captain Battlebonk. Part of the illustrious battlebonk corps. he is sworn to clonk anyone's bonkers who are out of line. I am the bonk, you will fuck around no more.

Together they are,

The IRC Avengers

But where are they assembling? And why? Paddy, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you photoshopping people for no reason?

Wait, our trackers indicate they are assembling at breakneck slow walk in two weeks in Seattle. At something called the PAX Splash Bash presented by TSD.

According to our hype readings, it will indeed have splashing, grilled foods, and fun for most... wait... no... fun for ALL apparently. These hype scanners can't take it, they're at full bore.

And something is going off on those aforementioned scanners from earlier. It looks like gamescom and general Destiny and Halo discussion is going on.

Looks like anyone missing this year's PAX and PAX Splash Bash presented by TSD. will be a total rube for at least a little bit.

Get Hype.

Love,
-Paddy