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So what's the absolute worst game you own? (Gaming)

by Cody Miller @, Music of the Spheres - Never Forgot, Monday, April 23, 2018, 13:59 (2166 days ago)

What are some of the absolute worst games you have ever purchased? Pick the worst from your collection and describe why.

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Vanquish

by CruelLEGACEY @, Toronto, Monday, April 23, 2018, 14:05 (2166 days ago) @ Cody Miller

;p

Trolling aside, I’ve sold all my discs, so I don’t own many crappy games anymore. I think the worst game that I own digitally is probably Halo Spartan Assault or something like that.

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^^^THIS

by Korny @, Dalton, Ga. US. Earth, Sol System, Monday, April 23, 2018, 14:46 (2166 days ago) @ CruelLEGACEY
edited by Korny, Monday, April 23, 2018, 14:50

...made me giggle.

Anyway, the worst games that I have right now:

-Sea of Thieves.
Imagine if No Man's Sky had even fewer things to do, and borderline zero gameplay outside of sailing a ship in order to do an endless list of tutorial-level fetch quests.
The game is an Early Access proof-of-concept with a full-retail price tag. At least the water is gorgeous, and the art direction is solid, if soulless.

-INSIDE. I bought it after hearing great things, but the game is barely a game at all, and more of a "Hold Left Thumbstick Right" simulator with traces of Limbo gameplay and a vague "story" that relies too much on the shock of the final sequence. It's as overrated as it could possibly get, and a serious disappointment.

-Sunset Overdrive
Take Crackdown, and mix it with Jet Set Radio, Infamous, and a pinch of Borderlands.
How could that winning combo go wrong? Well, it starts with the try-hardiest "How do you do, fellow kids" humor worthy of Cliffy B, the laziest writing this side of Uwe Boll, and a one-note gameplay loop, and you've got a game that I deleted after an hour, followed by a long shower. At least it was free.

- A couple of Forza games.
They were free on Xbox Live. I downloaded one of them, drove for about ten minutes, and remembered why I don't play racing games.

-Duke Nukem Forever
Got it as a novelty (or would it be morbid curiosity?), but never got past the first few levels. Still, that disk is there somewhere...

-Silent Hill Homecoming
Yeah, an American developer doing a Silent Hill game was more-than-likely doomed to be a "completely missed the point" experience from the start, but after Origins wasn't terrible, I tried to keep an open mind and give it a chance.
It was terrible.

- Also, doesn't really count, but I bought Too Human for giggles (it was $2 brand new, because Gamestop would have to destroy their copies otherwise). Never opened it, but the reviews for the game weren't that great, so...

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^^^THIS

by cheapLEY @, Monday, April 23, 2018, 15:10 (2166 days ago) @ Korny


-INSIDE. I bought it after hearing great things, but the game is barely a game at all, and more of a "Hold Left Thumbstick Right" simulator with traces of Limbo gameplay and a vague "story" that relies too much on the shock of the final sequence. It's as overrated as it could possibly get, and a serious disappointment.

Hey, I told you (well, this forum as a whole) that when that game was new and it was being talked about.

That game is a step back from Limbo in every way except for art direction.

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Loved INSIDE

by Kermit @, Raleigh, NC, Monday, April 23, 2018, 15:23 (2166 days ago) @ cheapLEY

What can I say? It appealed to my inner Cronenberg.

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I loved INSIDE as well

by kidtsunami @, Atlanta, GA, Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 18:54 (2165 days ago) @ Kermit

What can I say? It appealed to my inner Cronenberg.

There was just an inherent something about the atmosphere that was amazing.

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I loved INSIDE as well

by cheapLEY @, Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 20:08 (2165 days ago) @ kidtsunami

What can I say? It appealed to my inner Cronenberg.


There was just an inherent something about the atmosphere that was amazing.

The atmosphere and art direction were literally the only things keeping me playing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Inside, while I was playing it, if only because of the aesthetic. I never found what I was actually doing compelling though, and I was left thinking "That's it?" when it was over.

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I loved INSIDE as well

by MacAddictXIV @, Seattle WA, Wednesday, April 25, 2018, 06:30 (2165 days ago) @ cheapLEY

I was left thinking "That's it?" when it was over.

Happens to a lot of people.

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I loved INSIDE as well

by Kermit @, Raleigh, NC, Wednesday, April 25, 2018, 12:12 (2165 days ago) @ MacAddictXIV

I was left thinking "That's it?" when it was over.


Happens to a lot of people.

I understand that criticism. It was not satisfying in a conventional way.

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I loved INSIDE as well

by kidtsunami @, Atlanta, GA, Wednesday, April 25, 2018, 13:08 (2164 days ago) @ cheapLEY

What can I say? It appealed to my inner Cronenberg.


There was just an inherent something about the atmosphere that was amazing.


The atmosphere and art direction were literally the only things keeping me playing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Inside, while I was playing it, if only because of the aesthetic. I never found what I was actually doing compelling though, and I was left thinking "That's it?" when it was over.

I felt like what I was doing really added to my feeling of the aesthetic. I also appreciate that it wasn't too long and didn't over explain anything.

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Unfriend :-p

by Cody Miller @, Music of the Spheres - Never Forgot, Monday, April 23, 2018, 14:55 (2166 days ago) @ CruelLEGACEY

- No text -

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Vanquish

by CyberKN ⌂ @, Oh no, Destiny 2 is bad, Monday, April 23, 2018, 14:31 (2166 days ago) @ Cody Miller

Halo 4 and Mass Effect 3 also adorn my wall of shame.

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Vanquish

by Cody Miller @, Music of the Spheres - Never Forgot, Monday, April 23, 2018, 14:58 (2166 days ago) @ CyberKN

I really liked Alundra. So when I saw Alundra 2 on the store shelf I got it sight unseen. Turns out it’s not even the same genre, and completely blows. Played it for an hour and have never looked back.

Funny you should mention Inside Korny. I too thought holding right was boring, but I at least finished it. Partly because everyone said it “gets better”.

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Vanquish

by cheapLEY @, Monday, April 23, 2018, 15:13 (2166 days ago) @ Cody Miller

It did get better. For approximately four minutes. I thought the end was going to be a turning point and the beginning of the good part of the game, but then it ended. The end was legitimately cool, and the very few puzzles included in it were neat and a whole lot more interesting than the rest of the puzzles in the game.

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by stabbim @, Des Moines, IA, USA, Monday, April 23, 2018, 14:33 (2166 days ago) @ Cody Miller
edited by stabbim, Monday, April 23, 2018, 14:54

There's only one game I actually own that I really hate, and that's Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. The first time I played it was some multiplayer matches at a sort of LAN party. It was a few years after it had been "a thing" and everyone else there was nostalgic for it (read: they were people who had played it a lot). I kid you not, I got one kill the entire time. It was the worst gaming experience I can recall, in my life. I think that was either the beginning of, or a major boost to, my gradual realization that I didn't especially like competitive shooters anymore. Then, some time later, I bought it (used, for peanuts) because although I hadn't enjoyed the multiplayer, the controls and everything worked fine, meaning that it wasn't functionally bad. Also, it was a significant game in the industry, and since I like discussing games and design theory with people, I thought that I should play the campaign so I'd know what it was like. It was... meh. At least to someone playing it several years after it was a new thing. Much like the multiplayer, there wasn't anything functionally wrong with it, but I just couldn't find the fun.

I hate Need for Speed: Underground almost as much, but it would be inaccurate to say that I own that one, since I intentionally destroyed the disc and threw it in the garbage, reckoning that would be more fun and satisfying than actually playing the game any more (I wasn't wrong).

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by ZackDark @, Not behind you. NO! Don't look., Monday, April 23, 2018, 15:40 (2166 days ago) @ stabbim

I hate Need for Speed: Underground almost as much, but it would be inaccurate to say that I own that one, since I intentionally destroyed the disc and threw it in the garbage, reckoning that would be more fun and satisfying than actually playing the game any more (I wasn't wrong).

Hah, the thought of you playing NFS:U is almost as hilarious as you playing Trials

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by stabbim @, Des Moines, IA, USA, Monday, April 23, 2018, 15:55 (2166 days ago) @ ZackDark

The funny thing is, I loved Underground 2. It wasn't exactly the simulator that I prefer, but its treatment of car culture and the wealth of things to do + vehicle customization made it fun. Plus it was one of the first open-world racing games that I had played. But Underground 1's rubber-banding was WAY overdone, to a game-breaking degree (plus it didn't have the open-world thing going for it).

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by stabbim @, Des Moines, IA, USA, Wednesday, April 25, 2018, 09:46 (2165 days ago) @ stabbim

It occurred to me that I could/should expand more on the "why."

There's only one game I actually own that I really hate, and that's Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. The first time I played it was some multiplayer matches at a sort of LAN party. It was a few years after it had been "a thing" and everyone else there was nostalgic for it (read: they were people who had played it a lot). I kid you not, I got one kill the entire time. It was the worst gaming experience I can recall, in my life. I think that was either the beginning of, or a major boost to, my gradual realization that I didn't especially like competitive shooters anymore. Then, some time later, I bought it (used, for peanuts) because although I hadn't enjoyed the multiplayer, the controls and everything worked fine, meaning that it wasn't functionally bad. Also, it was a significant game in the industry, and since I like discussing games and design theory with people, I thought that I should play the campaign so I'd know what it was like. It was... meh. At least to someone playing it several years after it was a new thing. Much like the multiplayer, there wasn't anything functionally wrong with it, but I just couldn't find the fun.

As far as the competitive multiplayer goes, that's most likely largely due to my own distaste for that style of gameplay in general, rather than a fault with the game. Although I will note that the gap in this one between experienced players and new players appears to be MASSIVE. While I'm not big on competitive shooters, I have been playing FPS games for a LONG time, and in most games, I would be able to have a few successes here and there, even if I wasn't anywhere near the top. But in this game, at least against highly experienced players, It was virtually impossible for me to kill anyone. Typically, I was dead before I even knew another player was present. I do not have enough familiarity with the game to say exactly WHY, but I'd wager the VERY quick kill times have at least something to do with it.

On the single player/campaign side, there were more than a few spots where it wasn't clear what to do. I remember one spot where I fought the enemies for a while, and they kept coming out of a spawn closet. Nothing new there, lots of games have spawn closets, but this went on for an awful long time. I finally just tried running past them, and it turned out that was what I was supposed to do all along. But there was nothing that TOLD me I should charge past the enemies, and in many parts of the game prior to that, killing all the enemies was required to proceed.

A similar thing happened again in another spot. I was trapped outdoors in narrow streets with absolutely zero cover, and many enemies were present. After trying and failing repeatedly to survive combat, I finally just ran through them (yes, they were directly in the only path forward - I probably touched a couple of them on the way past). This wasn't a strategy, I was just so frustrated with the situation that I started screwing around. Charging directly at them seemed like the dumbest possible tactical decision, in fact. But, naturally, it turns out that was what I was supposed to do. I know this probably sounds like I'm just an idiot, but if I could SHOW you the spot I was in... It just should be clear to anyone who knows how guns work that running at these guys should have been the LEAST survivable option.

I hate Need for Speed: Underground almost as much, but it would be inaccurate to say that I own that one, since I intentionally destroyed the disc and threw it in the garbage, reckoning that would be more fun and satisfying than actually playing the game any more (I wasn't wrong).

There is a concept in some racing games that players refer to as rubber-banding. A more technical name for it is "catch-up logic." The idea is that when there's a certain gap between racers, the game will artificially speed up the lagging racer(s) in order to bring the pack closer together. The theory being, of course, that it's more interesting when the racing is close (that theory is sometimes true and sometimes not, depending on how far to the sim or arcade side a given game leans). Need for Speed: Underground failed massively at doing this properly. It would speed up cars that were behind 1st place (it's worth noting that this didn't just apply to SPEED in a straight line, but also to cornering grip), but it would leave them at that pace for way too long even after they had caught up. The result of this was that you'd be in 1st place, and some AI car would come rocketing past you at a ridiculous speed, and they would just keep going until there was a several-second gap. Sometimes they would almost get out of view before they returned to normal speed. I actually adopted a policy of intentionally staying in 2nd place until very close to the end of the last lap. Because if I tried to just race properly and stay in 1st, inevitably someone would come hurtling by, and if that happened in the last lap there was a very good chance that there wouldn't be enough time to catch up.

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by Cody Miller @, Music of the Spheres - Never Forgot, Wednesday, April 25, 2018, 18:29 (2164 days ago) @ stabbim

There is a concept in some racing games that players refer to as rubber-banding. A more technical name for it is "catch-up logic."

There's a Genesis game called Road Rash that's a cool concept, but falters because it DOESN'T do this. It's a game about motorcycle racing and combat… but the racers drift apart as the races get longer, such that there is little to no combat. You are cruising along with nobody else nearby.

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by ZackDark @, Not behind you. NO! Don't look., Wednesday, April 25, 2018, 19:04 (2164 days ago) @ Cody Miller

that theory is sometimes true and sometimes not, depending on how far to the sim or arcade side a given game leans

Road Rash is very likely not at all in the sim side of the spectrum :p

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by stabbim @, Des Moines, IA, USA, Wednesday, April 25, 2018, 22:10 (2164 days ago) @ ZackDark

Yup, and that's exactly why it should have catch-up logic! It's a good thing for arcade type racers IMO, IF it's done correctly.

Something maybe worth noting: I personally am not really into Mario Kart, but from what I have played, and what I've been told, it seems like they achieve the same results a different way. Instead of artificially changing the vehicle characteristics, the lagging racers tend to get better items (or so I've been told). Neat idea in theory, although it seems like that could also tend to result in hanging back being a valid strategy.

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Screw you, Blue Shell and Lightning. Screw you.

by ZackDark @, Not behind you. NO! Don't look., Thursday, April 26, 2018, 10:43 (2164 days ago) @ stabbim

- No text -

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by Cody Miller @, Music of the Spheres - Never Forgot, Saturday, April 28, 2018, 21:20 (2161 days ago) @ stabbim

Yup, and that's exactly why it should have catch-up logic! It's a good thing for arcade type racers IMO, IF it's done correctly.

Something maybe worth noting: I personally am not really into Mario Kart, but from what I have played, and what I've been told, it seems like they achieve the same results a different way. Instead of artificially changing the vehicle characteristics, the lagging racers tend to get better items (or so I've been told). Neat idea in theory, although it seems like that could also tend to result in hanging back being a valid strategy.

You mean like it is in real racing? Hang out in second place, then on the last lap pass using the slipstream. :-p

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by Kermit @, Raleigh, NC, Monday, April 23, 2018, 14:46 (2166 days ago) @ Cody Miller

What are some of the absolute worst games you have ever purchased? Pick the worst from your collection and describe why.

I have to limit your list even more to games I've actually completed. I own games that are probably worse that are still in their shrink-wrap, and I've probably given up on worse thinking or still hoping that they'll get better at some point when I get back to them.

The worst I completed was COD: Black Ops. It stuck to the rails so much I felt like I was on a ride. I am bad about not selling games I'm done with (I always think I'll play them again). I sold that one right away.

Unlike stabbim, I like CoD 4: Modern Warfare. Black Ops is the last CoD game that I've completed.

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P.S.

by Kermit @, Raleigh, NC, Monday, April 23, 2018, 14:57 (2166 days ago) @ Kermit

Screamride is a truly horrible game I bought because it reminds me of the dark ages, when I was little kid--there were no video games, and we just had sticks, rocks, and lincoln logs to play with. Gravity, physics, and destruction were our only amusements.

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P.S.

by ManKitten, The Stugotz is strong in me., Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 13:38 (2165 days ago) @ Kermit

Screamride is a truly horrible game I bought because it reminds me of the dark ages, when I was little kid--there were no video games, and we just had sticks, rocks, and lincoln logs to play with. Gravity, physics, and destruction were our only amusements.

I'm pretty sure I posted this same image of Claude a long time ago on HBO. Are you both in this picture?

[image]

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P.S.

by Kermit @, Raleigh, NC, Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 13:39 (2165 days ago) @ ManKitten

I'm pretty sure I posted this same image of Claude a long time ago on HBO. Are you both in this picture?

[image]

I'm definitely the short one.

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We used to play this game when I was a kid too.

by Funkmon @, Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 13:56 (2165 days ago) @ Kermit

We were so poor and I was so unpopular though, I had to play the hoop.

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by ManKitten, The Stugotz is strong in me., Monday, April 23, 2018, 18:05 (2166 days ago) @ Cody Miller

Lego Star Wars - I've never played it by myself though, only with my (at the time) 2.5 year old son. It was the most frustrated thing ever. The shared screen co-op was rage inducing.

Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising - I don't remember what I payed for this game or if it was a game with gold but I just remember playing it for 20 minutes and being confused, annoyed and frustrated.

Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock - This is when Rock Band was all the rage and they turned the GH Franchise into garbage music designed to use a full ensemble instead of focusing on the guitar hero aspect.

Contra: Shattered Soldier (PS2) - This game had all of the difficulty of the NES Contra games but ramped up due to all the PS2 power. My goodness this game was obnoxiously hard.

Flatout 2 (Xbox) - The original Flatout was super fun, glitches and all. To this day one of my favorite racing games. But Flatout 2 was the ramped up sequel that lost the racing aspect and focused more on nitros and crashing into debris.

But the worst...THE WORST...ABSOLUTE WORST GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED

Steven Segal is the Final Option

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by Cody Miller @, Music of the Spheres - Never Forgot, Monday, April 23, 2018, 18:31 (2166 days ago) @ ManKitten

But the worst...THE WORST...ABSOLUTE WORST GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED

Steven Segal is the Final Option

And yet it is still better than many of his films…

So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by Avateur @, Monday, April 23, 2018, 18:22 (2166 days ago) @ Cody Miller

What are some of the absolute worst games you have ever purchased? Pick the worst from your collection and describe why.

H4 and MCC, but I'll get banned if I go any further. :P

Tom Clancy's HAWX, and CoD Advanced Warfare definitely make this list. HAWX could be fun, but man. It's hard to describe. They had a nifty idea I suppose, but no. Until Advanced Warfare, I hadn't played any CoD games since MW2. It looked interesting, I got it at a discount, so why not? Welp, I pretty much have no desire to get another CoD game ever again. I mean, unless they remaster MW2 or make the original work on Xbox One.

I know you said worst, like maybe you were just asking for one, but these four are pretty bad. Don't know if I could choose a #1 from this list.

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by INSANEdrive, ಥ_ಥ | f(ಠ‿↼)z | ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ| ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, Monday, April 23, 2018, 19:50 (2166 days ago) @ Cody Miller

I'm not sure I own, which I'm interpreting as "Spent Money On", any games that I don't like. There is nothing I play right now where I feel a need to declare that it's the "absolute worst". I have purchased games though where I went "this isn't for me" and returned or traded in. In the two instances that I can recall at the moment, both are because I was hoping for something to fill a niche at that time. Both these instances that I recall are for the Xbox 360.

A very very early launch game for the 360, Chromehounds lost my interest in the tutorial. It's foggy, but I found it to be slogish or slow er... something. I was hoping for something with MechAssault type game play.

The second game isn't a bad game. It just wasn't for me, not what I was looking for. Hitman: Absolution was my first and possibly last Hitman game. Y'all may have been made recently aware how much of a unfiltered Splinter Cell fan I am, and at the time... I really wanted to play a stealth game proper (among other reasons). The tone of that game just wasn't... "me". While Splinter Cell is often smart, Hitman: Absolution was crude. I could never get "myself" into the game. It felt 3rd person + 3rd person... I... I'm not sure exactly how to explain it more.

Having said all that, there is one franchise of games that counts as the worst that I own right now.

It's Destiny. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We'll see.

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by bluerunner @, Music City, Monday, April 23, 2018, 20:54 (2166 days ago) @ Cody Miller

Driv3r. The physics are horrible. The AI is horrible. The survival mode is so ridiculous that it gets into the "so bad that it's good" zone. The only tactic the police have is to ram your car at 100mph. The police cars are so overpowered that they often do wheelies when they start moving. Hitting a lamp post can either send you flying over buildings or stop you dead in your tracks. Once one police car pins you against a wall, the other 20 ramp over you at high speed and go flying everywhere.

Mute the sound on this one.

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by Cody Miller @, Music of the Spheres - Never Forgot, Monday, April 23, 2018, 22:26 (2166 days ago) @ bluerunner

Impressed you could even get past the tutorial.

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by ManKitten, The Stugotz is strong in me., Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 06:03 (2166 days ago) @ bluerunner

Driv3r. The physics are horrible. The AI is horrible. The survival mode is so ridiculous that it gets into the "so bad that it's good" zone. The only tactic the police have is to ram your car at 100mph. The police cars are so overpowered that they often do wheelies when they start moving. Hitting a lamp post can either send you flying over buildings or stop you dead in your tracks. Once one police car pins you against a wall, the other 20 ramp over you at high speed and go flying everywhere.

Oof yes. Good selection. Driver 1 was super fun and at the time pretty innovative but the franchise progressively got worse.

May I also tack on to your selection, a close relative to Driv3r, Stuntman. Also riddled with glitches and wonky physics. In theory, the premise of the game was fun. In application, it was just really dumb.

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by Morpheus @, High Charity, Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 13:19 (2165 days ago) @ Cody Miller

This will probably come as a shock to everyone, considering how big of a Sonic fan I am, but in terms of games I still own, it would have to go to Sonic:Free Riders.


It's a Kinect Required game(see, already that's enough) and there are so many reasons this game screws it up.

First off, the game wants you to stand at a 90 degree angle from the TV itself—like a surfboard—but on top of that, the sensor won't read you at all if your face isn't facing the TV! So YOU'RE at a 90 degree angle, looking at the TV at a 90o angle, all while waving your arms and legs wildly. The crick in my neck from that game is permanent.

The menu design has me scrambling for my copy of Sonic 06. To switch options, you have to spin the screen in one direction like a globe, but it only moves ONE SPACE! And when you put your hand back down to spin AGAIN, the stupid-ass sensor identifies it as spinning the OTHER way! So you have to slowly lift your hand, swipe upward, then CRAWLINGLY bring your hand back down to your side and slowly bring it up AGAIN! And when you find the option you want, do you hold your hand over it and the little circle fills up like every single Kinect game ever made? Nope. You have to pick it up and drag it to an "OK" box like a Star Trek spin-off! It's terrible!

Not to mention, the risk for injury is insane. There are plenty of ramps and jumps in the tracks in this game, and for some reason(I guess points) they grade you on how you handle each jump. If the Kinect doesn't recognize you jumping, you get an F. If it does, you get a C. To nail an A+ jump, you have to launch yourself off the ground AND spin in a full 360 circle to get that critical grade. And land on your feet, 90 degrees. So let's add all that up.

90o standing+90o facing+jumping in a small room filled with furniture+spinning 360o in that same room filled with furniture+ landing on your feet without falling and breaking everything+90o angle standing again.

That equals deaths and mayhem. What a freaking waste. The worst part is, the tutorial almost plays itself and earns an achievement for it, so it's stuck on my gamercard forever. Just kill me.

Oh, and the Spider-man game. I burned that one.

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by stabbim @, Des Moines, IA, USA, Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 13:54 (2165 days ago) @ Morpheus

That... sounds like something that was exclusively designed to be played by children. I mean, the neck positioning for one. No one my age or older could do that for an extended period of time. And the jumping - if I did the jumps you described repeatedly for many hours, I would actually be worried about damaging my floorboards, never mind hurting myself on the furniture.

To be clear, I'm not trying to give you a hard time for playing it. I'm just saying, it seems like they designed it for one particular audience and ignored that any others might exist.

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So what's the absolute worst game you own?

by Funkmon @, Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 14:01 (2165 days ago) @ stabbim

That... sounds like something that was exclusively designed to be played by children.

So like a normal Sonic game? Yeah probs.

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Well...I Mean...something something Adulthood Denial?:-)

by Morpheus @, High Charity, Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 14:57 (2165 days ago) @ stabbim

- No text -

QWOP

by Claude Errera @, Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 15:39 (2165 days ago) @ Cody Miller

I guess I don't OWN it, because it was free... but it's dumb. Intriguing in concept, hilarious for about 30 seconds, then dumb.

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

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QWOP

by Cody Miller @, Music of the Spheres - Never Forgot, Tuesday, April 24, 2018, 16:59 (2165 days ago) @ Claude Errera

I guess I don't OWN it, because it was free... but it's dumb. Intriguing in concept, hilarious for about 30 seconds, then dumb.

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

But getting over it is awesome awesome awesome.

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I don't know if y'all are young or just have short memories.

by Vortech @, A Fourth Wheel, Friday, April 27, 2018, 09:24 (2163 days ago) @ Cody Miller

But games these days don't even launch without a certain level of polish. I assume we are discounting any shareware stuff, and I'll just list stuff I think I still have a box or cartridge around here for.

Dakatana - Even if John Romero had not made this sound like the second coming of Jesus before launch the delays and budget overruns and just bag gameplay and visuals would have made it bad. The hubris, though, made me buy it even knowing it would be terrible.

Superman 64 must be around here somewhere. Do you want to fly around being Superman? NO YOU DON'T and this game will prove it to you using upwards of 40 polygons and one single mechanic: Fly through a ring in 3 dimensional space using 2 dimensional controls.

Custers revenge - I'm already breaking my rules about cartridge ownership, but I do have the ROM. This was an Atari 2600 game where you sprint around a sparse cactus forest dodging arrows shot by Native Americans. That's pretty basic and repetitive, not to mention somewhat problematic for today's audience and may affect your enjoyme…Oh no, look: now you are naked and suffering priapism now the game has you rape a woman who is tied to a cactus. What the actual fuck? The worst part is I know I played this as a kid and don't remember it at all so now it's a coin flip whether I repressed the memory as too awful and it sits in my brain waiting to explode, or if I blithely didn't understand what was happening.

I don't still have it, but as long as I'm complaining about old games I had as a kid,
Any of the Philips CD-i Nintendo games, where you played as off-model Mario or Zelda where the game was laggy, the hit detection was lousy and they rendered FMV scenes animated from MS Paint drawings as a "reward". Ugh. Pure nightmare fuel.

As opposed to the best/worst, Thunder in paradise, the FMV game! Press a button to watch me drive a boat, brother!

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