I love the translations the news media use to sensationalize everything.

"He threw a pinecone that cut the officer's earlobe."

Translation:

"He gave the policeman (or woman) what doctors can only describe as a boo-boo."

Film at 11.

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He probably did stop by, just at a time when nobody was home. He couldn't let it end there, obviously. He tried to call. No signal. He had to climb up a tree to get a better one. By the time he was at the top, he realized he had left his phone at the bottom. Scared of heights, he couldn't get down himself and resorted to pleading for help by writing on pinecones. A gust of wind blew one into a police officer's ear. "Finally," he thought, "someone will help me." The police officer didn't even look at the pinecone, simply tasering it, repeatedly telling it to stop resisting, destroying the only evidence he had that he wasn't some rampant tree vandal. He didn't know he was inadvertently pickpocketing 7000 tree dollars (it's common knowledge in Seattle that pinecones are used as currency for accommodation and food at Entmoot).

It's sad, really. Just wanted to meet Our Fearless Leader.

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