In honor of Bungie Day, I thought I'd share with you the horrible truth that is my life in Destiny of late. Here are my ultimate moments of being a completely foolish completionist with OCD and too much time spent in game:

*note that there are loads of things you can't do anymore - I don't count those for any of these.

- Achieve Maximum Grimoire Score! (I'm at a scant 4820 right now, well below the... 5015 possible? Maybe more?) Head over to DestinyStatus.com to see how you're doing and which grimoire cards you're closest to collecting (click the grimoire tab). If you're missing any of the ghosts, Destiny Ghost Hunter is a pretty helpful site. Presently I'm working on getting 8000-ish more PvE kills as a warlock, along with 2500 more crucible kills. Which is fine because I can simultaneously go after my VIP mission completions (70 to go) and fusion rifle kills (900!). Min/maxing like a mofo, yo.

- Complete all the Quests! Yep, all of them. That is, in case you're keeping score, a fuckload of quests. I have not got my 3rd exotic sword yet, nor have I finished the redbull quest chain, but I've got all of the others done... on my hunter. There are still warlock and titan specific quests to complete which also give unique shaders and emblems, so... damnit, they're on my to-do list, too. Any rewards you get from completing quests will not be specifically mentioned in my strategy and planning below, so please keep in mind that there are spaceships, emblems, shaders, sparrows, and a bunch of other things you can get from questing.

- Get All the Things (specifically shaders, emblems, spaceships, and sparrows)! I ran out of stuff to spend my various and sundry currencies on, so I decided to buy everything under the sun. Shaders, emblems, spaceships, and - god help me - sparrows. While I know Amanda Holiday is never going to sell half of the blue ships that the kiosk claims she could sell, there's plenty of stuff here to suck up your hard-earned glimmer. Buying all of the shaders and green sparrows only took a couple of cycles of the inventory, but rare emblems and rare spaceships are RNG bastards. Speaking of RNG, I'm still missing a god damn NS-44 Cloud Errant which is green, but hasn't been for sale in MONTHS. WTF Amanda Holiday? W the actual F?

Subcategory help here:

-- Sparrows. You have to buy the 6 base model blue sparrows for 175 marks each (3 are from the vanguard vendor and 3 are from the crucible gun vendor; inventory is fixed and there's no RNG to get these). Then you need 24 special drives from Xur for 23 strange coins each (they come in 4 colors and you need 6 of each). Xur never sells more than 2 different colors at a time, so to dodge RNG be sure to stock up on whichever he's selling as soon as you can. There are also 9 green sparrows from Amanda Holiday (took 3 weeks for RNG to cycle them all through when i bought them). From quests you can get 1 white sparrow (somehow I don't have this unlocked despite having done the quest a bunch of times) and two purple sparrows (thanks to redbull). And then there's a sparrow each from Aetheon and Crota. The last sparrows you can still collect are RNG drops from sterling packages and PoE rep. Please let me know if I forgot any.

-- Spaceships. Each faction has 3 ships, which do not start dropping until you're a pretty decent rank. There are 12 vanguard ships (you have a chance to get one each time you rep up), and an unknown number of crucible ships (at least 12 old ones and 3 new ones, possibly more). There's also the quest ship everyone has, and then Amanda Holiday sells a boatload of ships for an equally large boatload of glimmer. She never has blue ships, so if you see one, buy it. I'd guess that at least one of the blue ships has literally never been for sale; they're that rare. You can also get several ships from blueprints found in chests. Aetheon easy drops one, Aetheon hard drops one, Crota easy, Crota hard, and Oryx hard (guaranteed drop).

-- Emblems. There's actually a website that tracks this one, thankfully. Though it's not working for me right now, probably because of the overload on Bungie servers while people try to find out if they finished the Y2 moments of triumph or not. You can also get a bunch of emblems from each faction (6 each, I think?), and there's one from the Cryptarch. The gunsmith rank up packages will also give you common emblems from time to time if you don't already have them, or you can buy them all from Eva Levante in the tower. Rare emblems, like rare spaceships, are a pain in the goddamn ass to get, so check every time the inventory cycles. You also get an emblem for beating the KF raid, as well as one for killing each raid boss on hard mode and another for getting the Touch of Malice. Completing class quests gets you a few other emblems, too. Oh yeah, and an emblem for beating Crota. And 2 you can buy from the Iron Banner vendor.

-- Shaders. That checklist website also tracks the shaders that Eva has for sale, but most come from other places. You can buy a couple more from Petra Vengj in the Reef, and a few from Eris Morne. Each faction has 4 shaders you can get in rank up packages, and the cryptarch can give you the best goddamn shader in the game, if you're lucky. There's also a bunch of crucible shaders that can drop at the end of games (I've gotten like 50 Gilgamesh shaders in my time), as well as some that only come from rank up packages. And of course there are cognates at strike completion and from vanguard rank packages. Get a full set of armor from KF and you get the bonemarrow shader, full set of harrowed armor nets you another green and glowy one. And you get Beltane for having all 50 calcified fragments. There's also a shader for beating Crota, but I don't recall one for Aetheon. Anyway, most of them are ugly as sin on a hunter so just hope for the Cryptarch one. Oh yeah, 2 more shaders from the Iron Banner vendor, Lord Salad.

Done with subcategories!

- Collect all the Exotics!: Spend a small fortune on 3 of coins from Xur every week and then make sure you always have the buff active. Then pray to RNGeesus. You're more likely to decrypt an armor shader into armor for your current class, so once you have all of the pieces for one class, just vault the exotic armor and open it on your alts to round out the set. The three HoW exotic guns come as rewards at the end of CoE (totally farmable). Mythoclast comes from Aetheon and Necrochasm now is a drop from Crota. ToM comes from a quest iirc, as do the 3 exotic swords (once you infuse a normal sword up to 280 light or higher). Each class has one exotic that the Gunsmith gives them a quest for at rank 3 as well. Getting a single character to gunsmith rank 5 will give you the quest for The First Curse. Then there's the Amanda Holiday quest to get the Chaperone, and the Petra/Variks quest to get Boolean Gemini... Probably some I'm forgetting, too. Anyway, this is arguably the easiest bit of this entire list of horrible things to do to yourself. And you can buy engrams from Xur to decrypt if you need Y1 exotics.

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So if anyone is remotely close to finishing any one of these things, you're my hero, and also probably very pale from all that time spent in a cave. But this is what I've been doing lately, and I hate to say that I actually feel like completion is possible. Dear god, help me.