Come one, come all to the special Destiny sale event of the decade! decade! decade!
Join us Thursday September 14th, starting at 10am Central for our clearance Destiny 1 Vault Sale! Save between 41.4 and 95% on famous name-brand:

• Armor!
  
• Weapons!
  
• Sparrows!
  
• Jumpships!
  
• Useless cosmetic crap whose mere existence pissed me off!

Don't miss the Early Bird stream where I'll be selling top-tier weapons, LIVE over the Internet! Place your auctions and bid for the vendor and god rolls! Rolls! ROLLS!! Your jaw will drop as some of the most powerful armaments the Crucible has ever seen is offered for purchase! Head to Mixer.com/Morpheus414 on the special day to reserve your spot in the bidding table! TABLE! Afterwards drinks, Pirouette Wafer Sticks, Flavor Blasted Xtra Cheddar Goldfish Crackers, mille-feuille, Onion Rings n' Ketchup flavor Doritos, 4 oz. tubes of generic brand personal lubricant, and other refreshments will be available in the All-Purpose Room B, left half.

The North Dakota Wellington Colony Health and Rehabilitation Center will be holding their annual Pokeno tournament in the next room, so neighborly cooperation will be highly appreciated.

Chat lines will be open, and we'll have operators on standby to take your order! Orderrrr...!

This Thursday, September 14th, 10 AM--only on Mixer!

*Cash or C.O.D. only, plus S+H. No outside cats, goats or elephants please. No concealed firearms allowed; only open carry. Mixer is not responsible for any accidental lawsuits, karaoke exposures, or marriages while inside. No refunds in known perpetuity throughout the universe.*

Right now everyone reading that is thinking 'what the hell is this weirdo talking about'? Well, I certainly won't tell the other sites I've posted this to, but I wanted to give my B.org family a simple explanation:

This upcoming Thursday, I'll be hosting a stream on Destiny 1. Any weapon, armor piece or consumable that even remotely has a use for Crucible modes, will be sharded and removed. If it's not Raid gear, FWC collectible, or PvE friendly, it's going in the garbage. Crucible lovers will have to shield their eyes--I've got plenty of weapons that are/have been extremely powerful in competition, but none of them will be spared! Once I finish cleaning out my vault, I will also stream some normal gameplay of Destiny 1 and 2. I'll have my mic on so I can speak during the stream, and this time I'll have the window open so I can see messages from whomever chooses to yell at me for sharding a god roll. Come on down, it'll be fun and nostalgic. Pardon the insanity, I've just been waiting to do this for a VERY long time. ;-)

Pardon the insanity, I've just been waiting to do this for a VERY long time. ;-)

I'll give it a solid 5 out of 7. Not bad. Would have been nicer if you could have integrated the message with the initial posts "textual flair". You had to explain, which kills the jibe. Also I noted an alarming lack of wild waving inflatable tube displays, the phrase that is along the lines of "You'll get the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge", and finally this set of words in this order:

4 oz. tubes of generic brand personal lubricant, and other refreshments will be available in the All-Purpose Room B, left half.

Also, I see in the disclaimer that there is a risk of karaoke exposures? What kind of madhouse you runnin' here Morpheus?

That is all.

Sounds like fun! I did a pretty good job of keeping my vault clear in D1. D2 has me worried though.

I'll be at work. Which reminds me, when you scheduled a raid for 9:15 EDT and said it was for people who have jobs, was that sarcastic?

Honestly, it was half sarcastic/half serious. In the grand scheme of things, not everyone has the perfect ideal 9-5 job schedule. Some people have to work double shifts for any number of reasons, such as providing for the family or working for a promotion. Others (like myself) have to work late night/graveyard shifts, and end up missing every planned event ever because they range from 7-9 PM.

Events like these are for the little guys--the ones who play early because they have no choice, not a quick game before heading off.

Morning people play Destiny too!©

And for those worried about missing the live sale, the magic of Mixer will allow VoD playback after the event is over!

I don't get your humor. Situation normal.

My experience with mixer archives is that the audio gets out of synch, sadly.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, our sale is being moved back to this afternoon. We apologize for any inconvenience!