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No Longer Neglected - Round 4: Child’s POV (Destiny)

by Ragashingo ⌂, Official DBO Cryptarch, Monday, June 25, 2018, 22:40 (2419 days ago)

Last time on No Longer Neglected, contestants were asked to write 7 haiku. We had some wonderful entires, with two standout sets. One from Xenos and one from Dame117.

Really, ultimately, the contest came down to just two haiku:

Click of your hammer
I deliver my retort
Your Last Word not mine

Strike as one with might
A family forged of light
Three warriors fight

And the winner is: Xenos

I loved the rhyming and flow of Dame’s fireteam hakiu, but in the end, Xenos scored a critical hit with a combination of imagery and lore that just couldn’t be beaten. But I do want to congratulate Dame for giving me the opportunity to post the screenshot I took of Sokka counting his syllables. I had his Tale Of Ba Sing Se in mind the entire time I was formulating a way to get people to write hakiu! :)

So, Xenos, if you can manage to find some way to contact me and get me your address, I’ll send you your choice of the awesome Titan action figure or the Pinny Arcade collectible pin set.

Now, for Round 4!

I just finished playing The Amazing Adventures of Captain Spirit and one of my lingering doubts is whether or not DONTNOD can pull off the same emotional depths they gave us in Life Is Strange while using a child as their main character. So, your challenge his round is to skip your Guardian or other adult POV character and instead focus on a child’s point of view of the world of Destiny. And... maybe try to get a powerful emotion, like fear, or joy, or awe, or sorrow, to shine through. As usual, no real word limit or target on this one… just use as many words as you need to deliver a short story of a scene or two. Standard rule applies, you have to submit your story to DBO’s fanfic section if you want to win.

Usually, I have something in mind when I issue one of these challenges, but this time I don’t. In a lot of ways, I’m challenging myself to write something good as much as I’m challenging the rest of you. So… best of luck to us all!

Oh yeah… prizes: D1 Exotics poster.

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The Mark

by Korny @, Dalton, Ga. US. Earth, Sol System, Tuesday, June 26, 2018, 22:06 (2418 days ago) @ Ragashingo

When she died to protect them was the first time that the boy ever saw a Titan. The caravan had come into Fallen territory two days into their journey towards the Last City, and the Hunter scout's attempts to lure the scavengers off failed to draw the massive horde, which had already caught wind of the traveling group making their way through a wooded gully. They allcould hear the Hunter's yells and gunfire, and the group's sudden gasps were hushed by the second Hunter that had agreed to escort the village through the dangerous wilds. "First rule!" he hissed.

The boy's mother had not wanted to risk the journey to the Last City, but the Fallen had been encroaching on the village, and his father agreed with the elders during the evening gathering that there was no choice but to activate their beacon and prepare for the long journey, whether or not anybody answered their call. The boy, much like the rest of the village, did not have many belongings to pack, and was passing the time by playing with the makeshift doll that his parents had made him (since there were no other children his age to play with), when his father rushed into their room with hushed excitement. "Guardians!" He could hear from his father's excited whispers, and through the candle-lit darkness could make out his mother holding her hands up to a hopeful smile. The next morning, they grabbed their bags and rushed to meet the rest of the already-gathered village outside of the old building that they all shared. He couldn't see much of the group that had come to help them, but could make out a caped figure that stood on a pedestal to address the thirty or so villagers, bird-like helmet in hand. "The first, and absolute most important thing to remember, is to keep your voices down. If anything pops up, or things start getting dicey, you keep quiet, no matter what! We've got this!" he called out.

"We've got this!" The Hunter whispered, and hurried the procession through the gully that had failed to keep them hidden, before jumping up to help his friend. The boy could not see the firefight, but the sounds of gunfire and alien roars to the left of them were slowly joined by the increasingly panicked whispers and shushes around them, and he gripped his doll tighter. The family fell further and further towards the back of the line, as the father was struggling to make his way through the old roots in the gully while carrying him and their few possessions, and his mother refused to leave their side. Screams and gunfire suddenly came from further up, as the villagers realized that more Fallen had been approaching from the right side. Several larger ones sprinted on all fours towards the group, and his mother drew her rifle and opened fire. The boy cried as his father pressed his head against his shoulder and covered his ear with his free hand. His mother could not slow the horde, and the hungry creatures hissed as they came upon the group.
A shadow passed over them, followed by a brilliant light, as a figure flew through the air before coming down on top of the scavengers. The bright light became an explosion of lightning that flew outwards, tearing the Fallen to pieces. Out of the cloud of grass, dirt, and blood jumped a massive glowing figure, which slammed into a second cluster, kicking up more dust and gore. Despite his father covering his ears, the boy heard a deafening roar, and screams and gunfire came from the front of the group, though he couldn't see what was happening, but soon realized that the villagers that had been in front of them were now bloodied and wild-eyed, running towards the back, and knocking his father over. The child sprawled among the roots and rushing feet, but held his doll tightly. he could see his mother through the dust, now firing ahead of the group. The family once more found themselves at the back of the line, this time one retreating towards the direction they had come from. As his father unhitched himself from their bags and grabbed his knife, he finally saw what had frightened the villagers away from the direction of the City: a massive Fallen Baron in the ditch with them. The boy shrieked, and his father jumped in front of him. The beast rushed towards them, crushing the dead Fallen and people underfoot, using its two left arms to block the mother's final bullets as it lifted a spear with a third arm, planning to skewer the man and the child with a single throw. The boy heard another woman yell, as the glowing figure came through the dust, and the boy could finally make out what it was: an armored warrior. A few final sparks of electricity crackled from her heavy armor as she ran effortlessly over the uneven terrain, throwing herself shoulder-first at the baron's side, throwing off its aim. The massive spear jabbed into the ground in front of it, but the baron laughed and grabbed the Titan with one arm, only for her to snap her feet against his side, clamp onto his arm at the shoulder, and tear it off in a single pull. It roared in pain and rage, grabbing the Titan with its three remaining arms. Without hesitation, it brought her down on top of its spear, before stumbling back and pressing against the bleeding hole where its arm had been. The Titan's head fell back, and she noticed the crying boy. "Everything's going to be okay," she coughed as she gripped the spear, "I promise, but you need to go now!" The father nodded and picked him up, passing him up to his mother as they clambered out of the now-useless ravine. He could see the Titan snap the spear in half, only for the Baron to snatch it from her and bring it down on her chest, her arms dropping to the side. The Baron then jumped up on the ledge after the family, and let out a pained, but victorious roar, a moment before his head exploded in a loud, fiery blast, and the body collapsed back into the ditch.
The boy's mother stopped running, as the bird-helmet Hunter holstered his revolver and walked past them. "She down there?" He asked. His father nodded as he gasped for breath, and the Hunter patted his shoulder as he walked past. The Hunter crouched at the edge of the ravine, and after a few moments, held out his hand. The boy gasped in disbelief as the Titan hopped out of the gully. The spear's holes were still on her armor, but she had a comforting smile as she removed her helmet and locked eyes with him. His parents had told him stories of the Guardians before, brave warriors who never died, and who protected the people of the wilds, like him. The stories gave him comfort, though a part of him knew that they were probably not true, and though his parents told him that the guides were Guardians, he didn't want to believe that they truly were the legends from their stories. And yet, here she was, walking towards him after he had seen her perish to protect him.

"Four dead, six wounded, and we've still got two da-" The second Hunter said, jumping up from the path before the Titan snapped an angry glare at him, causing him to stop mid-sentence. The Hunters nodded at the boy's parents, before heading off to assist the wounded, and his mother set him down to face the Titan, who crouched and wiped his eyes with the cloth around her waist. "Are you okay, dear? You didn't get hurt?" He nooded then shook his head. "I'm truly sorry that you had to see all of that. But your mom and dad are really brave, and I promise that I'll help them keep you safe, okay?" The boy nodded and said "Thank you." She smiled again. "What have you got there, dear?" she nodded towards his doll. He sniffled and mumbled quietly as he held it out to her. "I'm sorry, dear, what is it?"
"It's a Guardian," he said again as she held it in her hands, "my mom and dad made it for me." She chuckled as she wiped the dirt off of it with her cloth. "What kind of Guardian?" His parents had never seen a Guardian themselves before, so they hadn't added any specific details to his doll, but he knew which would make him feel safest.
"Like you." he said. She laughed softly, and touched his cheek, before her eyes lit up and she placed the doll on her knee. "Well, I'm a Titan, and a Titan always has a Mark to remind them of something very important to them. And since my promise to keep you safe is very important to me, I want you to have this to remember that, in case you ever get scared." She tore off a length of her cloth and wrapped it around the doll's waist.
"There." she said as she handed him back the doll. He wiped his eyes once more and held the doll up proudly for his parents to see.

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Good stuff.

by Malagate @, Sea of Tranquility, Wednesday, June 27, 2018, 06:51 (2418 days ago) @ Korny

- No text -

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Great Story!

by Dame117 @, Missouri, Wednesday, July 11, 2018, 17:01 (2404 days ago) @ Korny

- No text -

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The Mark

by MacAddictXIV @, Seattle WA, Thursday, July 12, 2018, 07:57 (2403 days ago) @ Korny

Controls his sobs

So beautiful!

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No Longer Neglected - Round 4: Child’s POV

by ManKitten, The Stugotz is strong in me., Wednesday, June 27, 2018, 18:23 (2418 days ago) @ Ragashingo

So my submission is based on a conversation I had with my 4 year old son who sometimes sits in with me while I play Destiny. I asked him some questions and this is what he had to say, pretty much verbatim.

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Destiny is about knocking aliens out. We know they are aliens because they go "GRAAWWR". The aliens look like monsters and they are trying to take us out. In the tower, there is a ball in the sky and that's the bad guys ship...or maybe a kickball. It's floating in the sky because it's going to drop bad guys. If there's too many bad guys, we would have to restart.

If I went outside and saw a hunter, I would say "hi" to him. My favorite guardian is a Warlock because they knock out two bad guys at a time. Guardians take out two bad guys at a time. A regular person can't do that, neither can Titans because they aren't real Guardians.

The Fallen look like triangles and are floating. The Fallen are trying to kill us. They are looking for Hunters and Titans.

The Hive are looking for treasure chests to get more powerful weapons to knock us out.

The Cabal are also looking for treasure chests and people.

I don't like Xur because he pretends to be mad. He's probably tired of talking to people and he didn't take a nap.

Prince Uldren knocked out Cayde-6 because he is a tough guy. He's going to knock out everyone in the game.

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And there you have it.

No Longer Neglected - Round 4: Child’s POV

by Claude Errera @, Wednesday, June 27, 2018, 21:39 (2417 days ago) @ ManKitten

Guardians take out two bad guys at a time. A regular person can't do that, neither can Titans because they aren't real Guardians.

If he wasn't your 4-year-old kid, I'd say bad things about him. Using bad words.

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No Longer Neglected - Round 4: Child’s POV

by Robot Chickens, Wednesday, June 27, 2018, 22:49 (2417 days ago) @ Claude Errera

Guardians take out two bad guys at a time. A regular person can't do that, neither can Titans because they aren't real Guardians.


If he wasn't your 4-year-old kid, I'd say bad things about him. Using bad words.

Most people react poorly to truth-bombs.

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No Longer Neglected - Round 4: Child’s POV

by ManKitten, The Stugotz is strong in me., Thursday, June 28, 2018, 05:44 (2417 days ago) @ Claude Errera

Guardians take out two bad guys at a time. A regular person can't do that, neither can Titans because they aren't real Guardians.


If he wasn't your 4-year-old kid, I'd say bad things about him. Using bad words.

haha as soon as he said that I started laughing and couldn't write fast enough.

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