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First, and most importantly, I’m sorry for your loss. He was obviously an important person in your life. I’ve seen enough people suffer before death to know how hard it is for everyone who loves them.

In regard to you being short tempered and argumentative, I’ve never perceived you that way, and I certainly don’t think of you as someone who would wish harm on anyone. I agree that dementia is especially cruel. Godspeed to your uncle, and prayers for you and your family.

Uncle Eli passed away last night. From what I was told, it was peaceful. I'm not sad or anything; I had prepared for this years ago, possibly even before I was hospitalized. Really, I'm relieved. His pain is finally over; I, and everyone else could tell, the man was suffering. The Eli the family knew unfortunately died slowly, and much much longer ago. The times I visited him was heartbreaking and physically painful to witness. Obviously out of respect and his dignity I never attempted to look at his body, but even under the blankets, his outline was plain to see and it was just outright grim; he was the shape and size of a doll. It hurt and tore at me to see him like that, but his kids couldn't even bear to see him the way he was, and I don't blame them at all. He'd raised them their whole lives, so so much more is connected to their memories and such.

I'm glad that he no longer has to suffer through such pain, but I still feel a cold chill run through my body. I'm short-tempered and immature, and I get into arguments a lot more than I should, even here. I seem to get mad or annoyed over nothing, and sometimes I'd let my anger tell me spiteful thoughts. But despite all that sputtering I'd vent...I would never. Ever. Wish dementia on anybody.

I don't think that's something anyone can recover from. No matter who's involved.

So sorry man. That’s so hard. Cheers to the joy he brought you and your family in life.

Right now we’re helping his kids through the worst of it; they’re all grieving in their own ways. But I didn’t think to mention that it wasn’t all bad; a few months ago we were able to help them celebrate their 50th anniversary—so that was a nice big landmark. Funeral’s this Saturday, so I’ll be going to see my family.