Happy Holidays, DBO

'Twas the holiday break, Bungie folks had gone home,
Not a soul in the building, not even Jerome;
The lights were all off and the doors locked with care,
For no one expected a visitor there.

I stood at the entrance, fed up with just bloggin'
As visions of Destiny danced in my noggin;
In DBO raiment and warm tricorn cap,
I checked my surroundings for signs of a trap.

The door wouldn't budge; I moved swift as a ninja,
And scanned the keycard I had swiped from a ginger.
I was in! Through the lobby I ran like The Flash,
Past weapon props, trophies, a huge Halo stash.

I danced where they mo-cap, the Palace Spandex;
Victorious robot, I moved like the Vex.
When what to my trespassing eyes should appear,
But the User Test Lab - where I'd find the frontier!

Troy's golf club in hand (and its tracking reflector),
My feet reached the room past the metal detector;
I cheered when a lab machine booted the game,
And loaded up worlds as I clicked on their name:

"Now Mercury! Venus! Now Earth, Moon, and Mars!
"Europa and Saturn!" I traveled the stars.
"To the top of the Tower, the Cosmodrome wall,
"I want to see Fallen, Vex, Hive, and Cabal!"

My Guardian triumphed as hours flew by
But soon I grew tired of fighting AI.
"This game is for sharing, not playing alone!
"Besides, I have more Bungie HQ to roam."

I walked to the Gauntlet, where testing is holy,
Past rooms full of servers and rooms meant for foley,
Then back through the lobby to Bungie Arcade,
And up the wide stairs to where Destiny's made.

There stand climbing walls that consume the lunch hour,
A skull on the door of the Ivory Tower,
The Fish Tank, a space that must see lots of laughs,
A table where posters await autographs.

While looting the kitchen, I heard a loud snore;
I wasn't alone on this dark second floor!
My stomach in knots - was it hunger or fear?
To remedy both, I grabbed snacks and a beer.

The mystery noise was a second intruder,
Who'd stopped for a nap by an artist's computer.
The ski mask he wore made his face hard to know,
Yet his beard peeking out was as white as the snow...

This tall man's familiar, but my mem'ry vague;
His stolen keycard only gave the name Dague.
It seemed he was there for the same goal as I,
A chance to try Bungie's new game on the sly.

He spoke not a word, we both knew time was short,
We started some co-op, then had to abort;
The game was a blast and it left us enamored,
But playing past dawn meant we'd both get banhammer'd.

Outside Bungie's building, we each went our way,
And as our paths split I could hear the man say:
"Remember to smile when you sing Auld Lang Syne;
"This new year brings Destiny, September 9."

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