So, some of you may remember me. Some of you might not. I haven't posted in quite some time, either here or on HBO, and I wanted to explain why. Did I lose interest? Naw. Did I get eaten by a grue? Nope. Was I kidnapped by aliens and forced to save humanity armed only with a water bottle? Yes, but that's besides the point.

There have been two reasons for my silence. The first, and foremost, is that I went on a Destiny media lockdown. See, I have this problem with hype. I get to a point where I get excited, but any hype beyond that and the media piece becomes a huge letdown no matter how good it is. I suffered this with Halo 2, I constantly suffer this with movies, and there are TV shows that I have gained less than zero interest in solely due to fans frothing at the mouth to me about. (Sorry Bronies.)

As I started to get more and more excited about Destiny, I realized that I was in the danger of reaching this threshold. I knew I wanted to play it, and I was getting excited over an MMO (a genre that I'm notoriously iffy about), and heck, I even have a poster on my wall. And, as I read a thread on here, I realized that I was getting too into the forums. So into it that I was reading threads that I probably shouldn't have in order to avoid this threshold. So I made the decision to walk away for a while.

"Until the beta comes out," I said. Then I could play it and get excited again.

Fortunately, I found ways to occupy myself that didn't involve the forums. Some good, some bad. I'll spare you all of the drama there, but it's also why I haven't been on Xbox for most of this time, and why even when I have been, I've been invisible.

So why do I envy you? Because it's taken me two days to write this pathetic collection of words. The beta came out, and I could play it and jump back in with everybody, right? Well, no. The xbox works and all, but I can't actually play it right now. I'm actually typing this one-handed, as lifting my arm up to the keyboard hurts like a mother.

I recently had shoulder surgery to take care of a torn labrum, rotor cuff damage, more bone spurs than the surgeon's ever seen, and half an inch(!!!) of scar tissue. Needless to say, the pain pills have made me loopy and the thought of gripping a controller in both hands isn't exactly something that I've been looking forward to. So I still haven't been able to get excited about the game. This was the worst timing ever. Of all time. There's a part of me kicking myself for having waited, and another part that says "you could have held out for a few more months before the surgery." This part gets shushed by the sane parts of my brain. ;)

And so I look at everybody and glare with green eyes. And I wait in anticipation for the moment that I can dive back in, excited and wide-eyed, full of wonder, and getting to play with the friends that I've made on the *BO forums.

I might look back later to respond, but I just wanted all of you to know that I hadn't forgotten you.

We haven't forgotten you either, and I hope you're back to 100% soon.

We'll see you starside, friend, and good times will be had.

And so I look at everybody and glare with green eyes.

Best eye colour. ;)

Damn it, dude. Will you be game-capable by 2 weeks after launch? I severely miss our (sole) Firefight game's shenanigans. Destiny will definitely bring those back.

Also, we need more fanfic from you. Dat ARG.

What can I say... "get well soon"? "and here I thought I had it bad"? "I feel for you"? Can we pretend I said something really meaningful? not because I want to be that cool smart guy (OK, a little because of that), but because that's what I want to have for you, because someone of your caliber, especially when it comes to words, should have something better than "gee that sucks". I look forward to you being able to play and type without pain, or without a lot of pain at least.

So, some of you may remember me. Some of you might not. I haven't posted in quite some time, either here or on HBO, and I wanted to explain why. Did I lose interest? Naw. Did I get eaten by a grue? Nope. Was I kidnapped by aliens and forced to save humanity armed only with a water bottle? Yes, but that's besides the point.

There have been two reasons for my silence. The first, and foremost, is that I went on a Destiny media lockdown. See, I have this problem with hype. I get to a point where I get excited, but any hype beyond that and the media piece becomes a huge letdown no matter how good it is. I suffered this with Halo 2, I constantly suffer this with movies, and there are TV shows that I have gained less than zero interest in solely due to fans frothing at the mouth to me about. (Sorry Bronies.)

As I started to get more and more excited about Destiny, I realized that I was in the danger of reaching this threshold. I knew I wanted to play it, and I was getting excited over an MMO (a genre that I'm notoriously iffy about), and heck, I even have a poster on my wall. And, as I read a thread on here, I realized that I was getting too into the forums. So into it that I was reading threads that I probably shouldn't have in order to avoid this threshold. So I made the decision to walk away for a while.

"Until the beta comes out," I said. Then I could play it and get excited again.

Fortunately, I found ways to occupy myself that didn't involve the forums. Some good, some bad. I'll spare you all of the drama there, but it's also why I haven't been on Xbox for most of this time, and why even when I have been, I've been invisible.

So why do I envy you? Because it's taken me two days to write this pathetic collection of words. The beta came out, and I could play it and jump back in with everybody, right? Well, no. The xbox works and all, but I can't actually play it right now. I'm actually typing this one-handed, as lifting my arm up to the keyboard hurts like a mother.

I recently had shoulder surgery to take care of a torn labrum, rotor cuff damage, more bone spurs than the surgeon's ever seen, and half an inch(!!!) of scar tissue. Needless to say, the pain pills have made me loopy and the thought of gripping a controller in both hands isn't exactly something that I've been looking forward to. So I still haven't been able to get excited about the game. This was the worst timing ever. Of all time. There's a part of me kicking myself for having waited, and another part that says "you could have held out for a few more months before the surgery." This part gets shushed by the sane parts of my brain. ;)

And so I look at everybody and glare with green eyes. And I wait in anticipation for the moment that I can dive back in, excited and wide-eyed, full of wonder, and getting to play with the friends that I've made on the *BO forums.

I might look back later to respond, but I just wanted all of you to know that I hadn't forgotten you.

Oh, lord. I had rotator cuff surgery in December, and goddam if it didn't knock me the hell out. First things first - the heavy pain med regiment sucked - completely removed me from the world for two weeks, and left me a mess when it was done.

How pitiful did I feel without my right arm? How pitiful that I could barely move it enough to put deodorant on? At 3 weeks, I was afraid it would never work again. At 6 weeks the pain really re-emerged, mostly at night while trying to sleep.

God-awful. Here's what I can tell you: it took a long time to even feel like my arm, but after a threshold...maybe 10 weeks?...it began to improve by the day. At 14 weeks I could consider raising my arm to a level position. At 16 I could begin to run and to do some light working out. At 20, most of my motion returned, and so did my confidence.

At 26 weeks, I'm doing body pump and boot camp workouts and paddle-board, and I'm just ready to start throwing again. I'll never have a wicked curve or be able to bring the heat like I used to, but it feels good.

Way better than I thought, and light years from where I was before the surgery. So keep your nose to the grindstone. Listen to the doctor, and hit therapy hard. When Destiny hits in 5 weeks you'll be hit a form of normalcy just in time. Be patient. The pain will go.

Destiny will be waiting. We will be waiting.

just to make one thing clear. I'm not fishing for sympathy or anything. I'm actually thankful for the surgery -- the pain has been getting increasingly unbearable over the past five years, to the point where this winter the pain was keeping me awake for days at a time. i am totally okay with this downtime because I know that things will be far better after therapy is done. I'm just envious as all get out of alll of you and cannot wait to be a valuable membeer of the team in game. Or aat least a good bullrt sponge.

the doctor says I', making a good recovery for what they did in there so no worries there.

Kermit: Looking forward to it!

RC: You would focus on that. ;)

ohai zach: What, I can't typo that just once more for old time's sake? I should be on by then. I'm pretty sure. I'm already to the point where I'm not drooling. Randomly passing out? Yes, still got that, but I'm making progress and cutting back the meds when I can. So with luck, I should be able to grip the controller and squeak in panic by then. And laugh hilariously when I die.

yakaman: First off, I would like to apologize because I got your name confused with Gatchaman at first. Blame the meds. :) And secondly, thank you. A lot of people have come out of the woodwork with similar stories both before and after my surgery, and they keep me going when I want to gnaw off my own shoulder. Though, one question I've been meaning to ask people and my doctor but keep forgetting to: Is it normal for the pain pills to still leave you feeling the pain but simply not minding it so much?

Also, Vaugeness, don't feel bad. My stock response to someone in pain is to say I'm sorry and try and hug them. Wringing of hands and fretting uselessly is another popular one. he ever weak-sounding 'take care of yoursef' while mentally kicking myself for sounding lame is another standby of mine. :) You're not alone.

Though, one question I've been meaning to ask people and my doctor but keep forgetting to: Is it normal for the pain pills to still leave you feeling the pain but simply not minding it so much?

I haven't had the same surgery, but I can say from past experience with prescription pain medication that that is very accurate. I remember a friend asking me how my back felt and replying with "It hurts like hell" and then laughing because I didn't really care.

yakaman: First off, I would like to apologize because I got your name confused with Gatchaman at first. Blame the meds. :) And secondly, thank you. A lot of people have come out of the woodwork with similar stories both before and after my surgery, and they keep me going when I want to gnaw off my own shoulder. Though, one question I've been meaning to ask people and my doctor but keep forgetting to: Is it normal for the pain pills to still leave you feeling the pain but simply not minding it so much?

I don't know how common it is, but Bill Engvall has a whole section of his stand-up act he does (or did) about that. Let's see... there it is.
Personally, every time I've been put on prescription pain medication (broken leg and two pulled teeth), it's worked just like aspirin.

Also, Vaugeness, don't feel bad. My stock response to someone in pain is to say I'm sorry and try and hug them. Wringing of hands and fretting uselessly is another popular one. he ever weak-sounding 'take care of yoursef' while mentally kicking myself for sounding lame is another standby of mine. :) You're not alone.

I do that or I bring up how I've had stuff like that happen before (namely what I mentioned in parentheses above), but I feel like "oh yeah I (roughly) had that too" is... I don't know, distracting, or it seems to cheapen their experience, something like that, so I don't do it so much any more.

I was recently wondering where you had gone. Glad to see you still around!