Recently been murdered by aliens? Feeling sad you can't shoot anymore, and have to stare awkwardly at your overinflated Dinklebot?

Have no fear! Phisto's Ward of Dawn Luxury Revival Service is here!

Before restorating, we glide in gracefully and coat you in an impenetrable shield to keep those nasty alien bullets at bay. Upon revive, you'll enjoy an overshield, two orbs of light (or maybe five, if you REALLY screwed the pooch on this one JFC stop rushing in the like that), and a shotgunning wielding Titan bodyguard with a righteous thirst for righteous vengence.*

BUT WAIT. THAT'S NOT ALL.

With the complimentary Helm of Saint-14 package, any baddies trying to interupt our service are instantly blinded. Following up with a smarting blow to the inner ear should fix them right up, yes sir!

All this for the low low price of being my meatshield while I hang out in the back and shoot people with Ice Breaker. :D Banshee is standing by to take your order, so call now!

*No refunds if I totally underestimated the situation and get myself utterly wrecked.

As a long time customer of this service, I can vouch for its nigh-unstoppable carrying-majesty.

You didn't post your rates.....

I usually charge 999 glimmer, which I know seems a little high. But I also give a private dance in the bubble till it pops. And by it, I mean the ward of dawn you pervs.

As stated in the Terms of Service above, our exhange of goods is your meatshield-ness for my revive. :)

Also how great would it be if instead of dancing I poured a cup of tea. Dang that'd be class.