Yep. Last night I finally got a pork poker. I'm a sucker for Solar.

It took me a couple hundred trillion millennia, but I finally got all the Hadium Flakes I needed, and I was pleasantly surprised at the reward. With this, my light level hit just high enough for the Raid to finally unlock for me, at the Very Hard difficulty. I'm still gonna wait.

My point is, the second I switched weapons in the Tower and saw that sword on my back, in an unarmed place of peace and non-combat, I started laughing uncontrollably, because it instantly...reminded me...of this.

- No text -

That video is hilarious. It reminds me of a phone call I had last night.

"My phone got stolen. Can you move up my upgrade so I can buy a new phone and sign up to another contract?"
"No, we can't do that."
"If the CEO of Sprint showed up and told you to, you could, right?"
"I mean, yes. We can move them if the customer buys into a certain plan."
"I don't want that plan. Just move it up."
"We can't do that, sir."
"Look. I have a GSM phone. I can just go to Straight Talk wireless and pay $35 a month. The only thing keeping me on Sprint since 2004 is getting a new phone for $200 every 2 years."
"I understand that, but the only thing we can do is have you pay installments."
"I have credit cards. I can just do that on my own."
"Well, yes."
"Look, what I'm saying is, if you move the upgrade up, I will pay Sprint for another 2 years. My phone will cost them PENNIES in that time. If you don't move me up, I'll just buy the contract out for $100. I don't get a deal on a phone and you lose an 11 year customer. What can you do for me?"
"I could give you a $50 bill credit."
"That's nothing."
"Well, you could buy out the contract like you said."
"How much is that?"
"$100."
"You're telling me that my 11 years with your company doesn't qualify me for a $100 bill credit when my phone got stolen and I'm 2 months away from an upgrade?"
"Uhhh"
"Cover me for the contract buy out and a discount on a new phone, then, and I will stay with you. We'll all make money that way."
"I can discount your bill $80."
"Double it."
"Fine."
"You've been helpful."

I don't just do this with phones. I HAVE done this at a party store in another state. I had a signed Penn and Teller hat (I've got tons of stuff signed by those two), and the guy at the local party store asked me about it. I told him I'd trade it to him if he ordered a case of Faygo Diet Rock n Rye for me.
"We can't get that here."
"Sure you can."
"No, the company we order from doesn't carry Faygo."
"Call Faygo. I'll bet they'll work with you to get the stuff out here."
"Let's do it."
He got my case, explained how much it was when I came in for it, and I threw in an autographed copy of "Sock."