The always clever and silver tongued Duncan recently constructed an alternative version of Hotel California. I asked for his blessing to weave it on to the airways. Stupidly, he agreed.

Listen: http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ToazXk8UxL

Downloads:

Full Song - https://www.dropbox.com/s/5bl6o6ssvp84mgw/dbohotelclaude.mp3?dl=0

Vocal Track - https://www.dropbox.com/s/1fcemxfejj8qcn8/dbohotelclaude-vocal.mp3?dl=0

Lyrics:

On a Seattle highway, Cool Whip in my hair
Warm smell of carnitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a place to relax
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop just for PAX

There he stood in the doorway;
I heard the voice of a nerd
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Bellevue or just Wallingford'
Then he lit up his iPhone and he showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel Clauderrera
Such a lovely place
Such a bearded face
Plenty of room at the Hotel Clauderrera
Any time of year, you can find LANs here

His mind is Destiny-twisted, he got the Master Chief games
He got a lot of pretty, pretty toys; Recon, blue flames
We got Jackals in the courtyard, sweet Grunty sweat.
Some here still remember Marathon on diskette

So I called up the admin,
'Please, where can I whine?'
He said, 'Well we've had this fansite here since nineteen ninety nine'
And still those voices are posting from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of a night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel Clauderrera
Such a lovely place
Such a bearded face
They livin' it up at the Hotel Clauderrera
What a nice surprise, reading thread replies

Mirrors of the server,
The new forum is nice
And he said 'We play Rockets/Prisoner here, with our gaming device'
And in line outside GameStop,
They gathered for Release
They pre-ordered with their credit cards,
So their Sparrow speed's increased

Last thing I remember, I was
Running DBO
I had to get my Xbox back
To erase my Halo 4
'Relax,' said Leviathan,
'We are programmed to Believe.
You can log off any time you like,
But you can never leave!'

-Paddy