I'm really hoping for suros regime, no land beyond or the last word.

But most of all I'm hoping for some actual server access ;)

...and in Banana's heart, he knew,
That the toys Xur was bringing
Would leave Banana feeling blue.
He was far, far away
From his dear Xbox products,
Miles and miles from a source
For strange coins and exotics.
There was no hope this Xur'mas
For new treasures to find,
Like Starfire Protocol
Or Obsidian Mind.
His friends all would be rocking
Slick new studs from the nine,
While his own Exo Warlock
Would be left far behind.
But as he was dreaming
Of high intellect studs,
Up on the roof top
He heard a loud thud,
And down through the chimney
All hissing with mirth,
There stood the nine's herald
In all his merry girth.
"Why all the frowns, guardian?"
He queried with a hiss,
"I've got some goods for you
Assured not to miss!"
He gathered himself up
And from his sack he posed,
A deep purple raiment
Of hideous robes.
Banana grasped the surcoat,
And with it his heart sank:

"Voidfangs again!? FUCK YOU XUR!"

for writing this poem, thanks

That was a fun read.

Reminds me of a Christmas poem I made years ago about tricking my overly-Christian family to watch all of Woodland Critter Christmas.

ALL of it.

(The forumgoers called me a hero.)

It is pretty sickening how many times he's sold Voidfang, even though I'm a Titan.

Then again, maybe he'll sell Sunbreakers.