So, I think I might have found my way to get Thorn (Destiny)

by Dagoonite, Somewhere in Iowa, lost in a cornfield., Tuesday, March 17, 2015, 05:18 (3787 days ago)

As someone who only enjoys playing PvP with friends, getting the Thorn bounty on my alt wasn't a prospect that I cherished. I'm not good with Hunters, and when I do slot myself in Crucible with folks, I'm a team player.

But after another post, I thought about my playstyle, and after some deliberation, I decided to go into Rumble. My first match on Firebase Delphi was good, better than I'd ever done on the bounty. I went from 0 (because my last Control REALLY sucked) to 35. Okay, cool. My next game was negative, bringing me back down to 20. I kept at it, though, bringing myself back up to 35.

And then something happened. Something beautiful and marvelous. When Blind Watch came up as the map, I nodded. I'd done some on Clash, so I knew the map, and a few choke points. I could do this! Armed with an Atheon's Epilog and Two to the Grave, I felt like I could get another 35! Glory be!

And then I promptly died three times without firing a single shot. Many four letter words were spoken. Well, only one, but I said it a lot.

Somehow, I made it inside the building, and all that changed. A miracle happened, and my thumbs were guided by an unseen force. I've named it Bob. This angel of vengeance watched over me, guiding me in ways that I loathed but accepted.

"Oh," he said in a bored tone. "You want to head that way? Nah, why don't you go over here and camp this here corner. It's a legitimate strategy."

"No, no," he whispered in my ear in a way that was totally not creepy but definitely was. "You don't need that heavy ammo. You don't have a void heavy weapon. Just... watch it. Lovingly caress it. AND KILL ANY WHO DARE LOOK AT THE PRECIOUS."

"That's a lot of red on your radar. Why don't you run outside and loop back around. I promise, you won't die instantly this time."

Now, normally when I play, I have someone to talk to. Or, if there's more than one person in the party, people to listen to. It keeps me calm, which keeps my tremors at a lower frequency. But it's generally not sound to talk to an unseen force that's spurring you on to mass slaughter. It ranks right up there with typing one sentence with a typewriter 50,000 times to pad you NaNoWriMo wordcount. So by the end, I was vibrating at such a frequency that... Well, if there was another explosion in Tunguska, you know who to blame.

But the match ended, and the results came up. Wait, what? I'm at 93 now on that bounty?! I... What? Sure, to most of you, that might be the greatest, especially with 12 deaths, but for me? MotherBLAMer I'm awesome! (Dude, no you're not, don't lie)

It makes sense, though. I'm objective and partner-based. My team comes first, before myself. By switching to a mode where it's free for all, the pressure disappears and I can switch to cheap tactics to get kills. Or maybe it was the talk of hockey the other night, which awakened the berserker in me that's resulted in me being banned from every playing street hockey again. Or maybe it was Bob.

So if you log on and see me in Crucible with my Hunter this week, feel free and drop me a line. If I respond speaking in tongues, or even just "ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD" then you shouldn't be worried. I'm just possessed by an eldritch abomination... AND WINNING.