For those who find Cody to be pretentious... (Gaming)

by Beorn , <End of Failed Timeline>, Monday, February 01, 2016, 15:02 (3014 days ago) @ Cody Miller

Bullshit.

Good morning to you, too, sir!
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Sorry,

We all know you're not actually sorry about whatever is going to follow this, but I understand the sentiment. Let's continue...
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but even if that's true the game is no fun, which makes it terrible.

Really? I'm having a total blast with it. Just like I said in the post above. Maybe you're not having fun with it, but that does not make the game "objectively bad" on a universal scale. Lots of people are really enjoying this game.
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The puzzles are all super easy too, and the game pretty much tells you how to solve them by easing you in to them.

What, you want to brute-force these things? Let me know how much fun you have with that approach. Breadcrumbs are important. One element of good game design is like a symphony; early on you ease the player into a theme and then you progress, developing and iterating that theme over time into something more complicated and climactic. You vary the approach and intonation along the way, sometimes going off in unexpected directions, but always looping it back to the theme. Think about Beethoven's 5th. The Witness does this very well (and in ways that I'd wager you probably aren't fully aware of yet).
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Over 100 solved

Hey, mine is bigger!
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and I haven't had to put on a thinking cap yet.

I think we plebeians simply fail to understand the grandeur and expanse of your towering intellect, Cody.
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If it doesn't get harder soon I'm gonna give up.

Wait, what? It's so easy that you surrender? Let me get this straight; you haven't seen a single puzzle that you don't know how to solve yet? How much of the island have you even explored? Oh, right, 100-ish puzzles’ worth. If you do stick it out, tell me about the Red Door.
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I'm assuming it gets much harder based on what people are saying,

Yeah, it gets more difficult. That's why people are saying that. Coincidence? I think not! Call me when you bust out the ole pencil and paper. But remember, none of it is impossible (and it's not supposed to be). Look, it's a game, it should have a solution to every puzzle, and none of it should require calculus. See the comment about progression above.
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but if I don't like the environment (it is really not appealing),

Fair enough, it's a subjective thing. You don't like the environment, I do. We can agree to disagree.
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nor the [movement] (you can't walk off ledges and it sucks getting around),

There are a few points here and there where I'd like to shortcut a path, too, but why the hell would you want to walk off a ledge?
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why would I stay to solve the puzzles?

Right, if you're not having fun, then it's okay to not play it! I have stopped playing many games because I wasn't having fun with them. Games that other people have enjoyed and finished (the first Mass Effect immediately comes to mind). If you don't like it, then that's okay. You're not obligated to finish it.
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Also Vanquish was released in 2010, so it's pretty much impossible for any other game to be game of the decade.

Haven't played Vanquish. But I wasn't saying that The Witness was the game of the decade. I said, "I think The Witness may be the best game I've played in the past decade, bar none."

Edit: I really should add that this game is about the journey, not the destination. Solving puzzles is simply the mechanic; the meaning is found in the experience and exploration.