But why not specify? (Destiny)

by red robber , Crawfish Country, Monday, June 29, 2015, 14:55 (3674 days ago) @ General Vagueness

As a married guy without kids yet, a hundred times this. I think the problem many of us still face is that gaming is not seen by others as a social activity with the same social consequences for canceling.

Take these two conversations:

Other people - "Hey, want to grab lunch with us?"
Earendil - "I'd love to, but I'm grabbing a drink with my brother"

Other people - "Hey, want to grab lunch with us?"
Earendil - "I'd love to, but I'm playing video games with my brother"

Perhaps you and I can see those as equal social responsibilities, but many people do not. They don't understand why you can't just not play video games and accept their invitation. They may respect the fact that you game, the same way they respect that you watch TV. But like TV, it's not (often) seen as a social activity that is a valid excuse for not hanging out. To my Wife's credit, she is slowly coming around to the idea. She still has a hard time responding to other couples when they ask us to do something, and her response has to be "We can't, my husband is busy gaming tonight".

That's why you don't specify, you just say you have plans, or "a prior obligation" if the pressure is on.

Why can't we just say "sorry, I'm playing video games"? I've thought about my gaming habits for a while now. I do play more since destiny came out, for long blocks at a time. I thought, why would I essentially sit here for 6 or 8 hours on a saturday playing games?

Then I reflected on a few of my other hobbies. I've always been a pretty avid hunter, usually still hunting for deer. "Still" hunting meaning you sit still for the entire time. Usually in a stand or blind. I can spend up to 10 hours in a stand, with only a snack and some water waiting, staring into the woods. And no one ever questions me about that (Note: I'm from the boonies). How is that really any different/better for me. Yes I get some exercise walking out to my stand, (It's about a 2 mile slog through the swamp, but if I had an ATV it would only be 10ft climb). Yes I get some fresh air and sunshine, but it's not very active physically or mentally. At least when I'm gaming, my mind is in a constant mode of problem solving or strategery. And I can get up to eat, do a chore, stretch my legs, pee. Hunting is all about being super quiet and still so as not to spook the animals. Even a quick head turn can ruin an outing.

TL;DR Gaming is not something you should have to justify or be ashamed of.