Someone Slit My Throat. (Off-Topic)

by Morpheus , High Charity, Friday, April 17, 2015, 03:54 (3512 days ago) @ Morpheus

I've never liked the Star Wars films. "But how can you not like them if you've never seen any of them?" Unfortunately, the billions, and billions, and billions of parodies, adaptations, references, and fan creations have filled in too many blanks.

Endless one-liners, seemingly all about the same two or three scenes.
Forum wars over who shot first.
Remake after remake after remake!!!

I'd say what the companies are doing with this long-beaten dead horse, but that would be going much too far.

The stuff I have seen is just a complete snooze-fest for me! Maybe it's the effects(I was born in 88, so that might be why), maybe it's the music--don't get me wrong, John Williams is a fantastic composer--but a million-piece orchestra is not what I want to hear during a high-octane action scene. It's definitely the fan-base--WAY too overpopulated, and far too fiercely loyal.

But what irks me most of all is the ridiculous time gap.

Let's just forget about why they'd want to start with IV, because the answer I'd get would more than likely be too long and fanboy. We'll skip on to my main point--putting THIRTY TWENTY YEARS between each trilogy. Who DOES that?!? I mean who, in their right mind, would say "Oh man, Return of the Jedi was a big success(I'm guessing), so let's just SIT on these piles of cash for two decades while our stars, crew and other valuable asse--oh man, I didn't even think about this--what about our FANS?! Let's just wait while everybody dies or grows super old!"

I just think that's terrible and unfair and nonsensical and just prick.

Seriously.

No kidding, if the WachowskiBrothers came up with a Matrix 4 in 2029, I'd go on a homicidal rampage. And not with joy, either.

Anybody remember when they had that Napoleon Dynamite animated series?

No?

Well, that's how short-lived it was.

This is an example of what waiting too long can do to a fanbase.

When the movie came out, everybody(including me) foamed and splooshed and cult-ed all over it, and it was the best thing ever. But waiting 10 years to do the show, after no sequels and no other things to "tide us over"/keep our attention, it was too late. We were over it. Nobody cared any more. I always say this--if they had started that animated series in 2005 like they should have, it might even still be going by now.

Apparently, that doesn't seem to work with Star Wars though. I'm guessing because of the dozens of different animated shows(all strangely called The Clone Wars), thousands of licensed, unlicensed, and (quite literally) illegal knock-off video games, OTHER movies, board games, card games, webisodes, action figures, (....radio programs?) books, props, toys, porn, cons, memorabilia, remakes, fansites and weddings/funerals.

Seriously though, shoot me and run me over if I ever find a woman who agrees to play "Live & Learn" at our wedding. :-)