He's certainly good at "punching up" his resume (Destiny)

by Kahzgul, Tuesday, November 04, 2014, 21:37 (3471 days ago) @ Blue_Blazer_NZ
edited by Kahzgul, Tuesday, November 04, 2014, 21:40

David Mongan - Senior Writer

After 3.5 yrs @ Bungie my work on #Destiny is done! Immensely proud of this project. It will change the gaming world. #OntoTheNextAdventure

Was this guy actually seeing and working on the same game that we're playing now?

Seriously, if the writing for this game were half as creative as his description of it, the story would be 10 times better than it actually is. How could such a clearly talented individual have so grossly failed to deliver anything remotely coherent in his game?

I really want to figure out what he's trying to describe here:

[*]Worked closely with the Creative Director and key studio leads to develop the sci-fi/fantasy universe of “Destiny” and craft long-term story arcs & central characters capable of driving multiple releases.

So he made long term story arcs but no short term ones. Got it. That makes sense, even if it's honest by omission. But... central characters? Which of the droids in the tower has "character?" Can you describe their personalities? Their hopes and dreams? What did they do 10 years ago and what will they be doing in 10 years? The only guy even close to having character is the Cryptarch, because he's a goddamn jerkhole who won't give me the loot he promised. But even that "personality trait" isn't the result of the writing!

[*]Wrote scripts for performance-capture cinematics, narrative voice-over, in-game NPCs, mission dialog, as well as external advertising campaigns; also rewrote other writers’ scripts as necessary.

...sigh. The script for Destiny is farking awful, and the fact that you are willing to take the blame is commendable. No no, the other writers didn't suck; I re-wrote their scripts to suck. That's leadership, I guess. You're a good candidate for middle-management, even if you are a god awful and embarrassing writer prone to insulting the intelligence of his own target audience.

[*]Managed and mentored a team of staff & contract writers: led the Writers Room, generated constructive creative feedback, oversaw team productivity, resolved disputes, gave performance reviews and career guidance.

More evidence that this guy would be a good mid-level manager. I've heard no complaints from the writers on the game, other than the fact that Joe Staten left (quit?) and he's the guy who made Bungie's stories so damn compelling. I'd love to see the internal memos on the disputes: "She doesn't have time!" "No, dude, she doesn't have time to EXPLAIN WHY SHE DOESN'T HAVE TIME! Read the storyboard!" Or this career guidance: "Don't ever work with me again. That's your best shot at a future."

[*]Drove creative design of an integral mission delivery system aimed at increasing story comprehension; worked with Cinematics, Audio & Design to overcome technical hurdles and achieve implementation.

This is just poppycock. The only "integral mission delivery systems" in the game are the text-based bounties which have no plot relevance whatsoever, and the patrol missions, which also have no plot relevance whatsoever. I mean, nothing in the game increases story comprehension, because the story is incomprehensible. Then there's this gem of "overcoming technical hurdles and achieving implementation" ... OF WHAT? What did you implement? You have a verb with no direct object! This is basic writing, and you claim to be a writer (your body of work claims otherwise), and you put this awkward and poorly formed sentence ON YOUR RESUME. Dear lord, help this child.

[*]Engaged with artists and designers to build deep fiction for the game’s destinations and enemy combatants; then helped infuse that backstory into the fabric of every story mission and cinematic.

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh god, the joke's on us. "Deep fiction?" "The fabric of every story mission?" Come ON. What's the backstory??? There isn't any. You get revived by a ghost who says you've been dead a long time and he'll explain later, and then... HE NEVER EXPLAINS. You can make your character an Awoken, and then after you go to Venus for the first time... YOU ESTABLISH CONTACT WITH THE AWOKEN. You keep encountering characters (I use this term lightly) who continually discuss how they could tell you a story or a legend or a fable or anything interesting, but they WON'T, and then you tell the Exo Stranger that you've "HEARD THE LEGENDS" of the black garden BEFORE YOU'VE HEARD THE LEGENDS OF THE BLACK GARDEN. Did you mean to write "I've heard the legends that there are legends of stuff in this game, BUT NO ONE WILL TELL THEM TO ME?" Because that's the game's writing, in a nutshell. There's more plot and story and character on the website than there is in the actual game.

David, if you ever read this, I'm sorry. I hope that you're a nice person in real life, and you can be big enough to admit that you and your team failed miserably with Destiny's story, characters, and "plot." If you did write something good, I'd love to read it, but I 100% guarantee it isn't in the game that shipped. I'm not mad at you, but I am surprised at the chutzbah and incredible hubris that your linkedin profile shows. If I were producing a game, and I saw that resume, knowing what I know about Destiny, I'd laugh in your face. It's okay to be proud of a project because you completed it, but it's not okay to mistake bad writing for good. You clearly have some talent because holy cow does your resume gild the lily. I wish that talent had been put to any use during the creation of Destiny.

Story is about character growth, plot development, overcoming the odds, revealing the truth, and struggling against your own fate. It is not about "kill 100 enemies without dying" nor is it about "I can't tell you why you're doing this." When JJ Abrams says mystery is the only compelling story left to tell, he's only half right; at some point the mysteries need to be revealed. Presenting action without resolution is always disappointing, even to action-game gamers. Bad Dudes had a better story that Destiny, because at the end, you got to have a burger with the President. In Destiny, you get a mote of light. From a guy who sells you stuff for 23 motes of light. F that guy. If I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, and I want to, you spent 3.5 years coming up with an interesting universe for Destiny to play out in, and then had no idea whatsoever as to how to fit a game into that space.

And I'll be brutally honest here (as if I wasn't being so already): The universe isn't that great. It's incredibly short-sighted and racist. It plays on many archaic gaming tropes of "this race is evil" and "so is that race" and "also this race but you have to shoot them in the belly so they're different somehow." Give your audience some credit. Many of us have been gaming for our entire lives, and we expect more from a game than some sort of 4th Reich parable. Are the Guardians really the master race to annihilate all Fallen, Cabal, Hive and Vex? It's a weak and 1-dimensional premise. You had the opportunity to create entire alien civilizations, and instead you made basically the same enemy four times. The differences are their guns? Oh, and some Fallen can teleport to the side when you shoot them or be cloaked, while some cabal have shields or rockets or chain guns, the hive look scary and some of them hover, and oh yeah, the vex create bird poop if you kill them right.

The good parts of Destiny are the art, the sound, and the mechanics of moving around and shooting things. The bad parts are the size of the world and the total lack of story, character, and plot. There's no rising action, no climax, and no resolution. There's no backstory, barely a premise, and no hero's journey. There's no growth, no lesson, and no moral. No tragedy, scarcely any comedy (one funny joke, in fact, in the entire game, "little light"), no risk and the rewards... Well, the rewards are ephemeral at best and a smokescreen at worst. Writing a blurb for a gun does not a story make, my friend. "This gun was found in an airlock of an abandoned space station" bullshit. I found it in the head of a fallen Dreg on earth. None of it is coherent, cohesive, or coordinated with any other part of the game. Destiny is as it plays: Many different parts, poorly connected and without order. There is no reason to the rhyme, and as the poet, it was your job to set the meter.

You failed. But this linkedin resume is hilarious. I lol'd, and at the end of the day, isn't that what writing is all about?