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The absolute dumbest Star Wars movie. Also pretty fun. (Off-Topic)

by cheapLEY @, Saturday, December 21, 2019, 21:49 (642 days ago) @ INSANEdrive

I just finished watching. It was a fun watch! It was a wild ride from start to finish. I think it's a decent Star Wars movie. It was also the absolute dumbest Star Wars movie by a long shot.

Palpatine is still a terrifying bad guy, and he's great. It's also completely stupid that he's back at all.

It feels almost downright spiteful in it's treatment of The Last Jedi, and it completely panders to the stupidest complaints about both it and The Force Awakens. You don't think Rey trained enough to be as good as she is? Here's an extended training sequence at the start of the movie! Are you mad about Luke in The Last Jedi? He admits he was wrong and stupid! You hate that Luke Force-projected instead of raising his X-Wing out of the ocean and fighting for real? Guess what Rey flies away in! Are you still pissed that Chewie didn't get that medal at the end of Return of the Jedi? Well he's got one now! Mad about the lightspeed attack Holdo did? Well now it's named the Holdo Maneuver, and, guess what, it's one-in-a-million and we can't do it anymore (except oddly, at the very end where we see a shot of a Star Destroyer above a planet and it looks like it was split in half by the exact same thing).

Kylo's redemption didn't work for me. They've spent the whole of this trilogy showing that he's still split, that killing Han is tearing him apart, and it's still just not a convincing turn. I think the chemistry between Rey and Kylo is one of the best things about the new trilogy, and the the Force connection stuff and the teleportation/projection was really cool. Just wish they would have done something more interesting there.

I'm totally here for the continued adventures of Finn, Poe, and Chewie in the Falcon. Give me that series.

A lot of the action didn't work for me. The aerial battle at the end was fine, but the "land" assault on the Star Destroyer felt really lacking. The chase on the sand planet in the middle of the movie felt like it had no stakes whatsoever.

Rey and Kylo Force fighting over the transport ship was cool, though. I know it's sort of a double-edged knife here because it can get silly, but I really enjoyed just how powerful they made the Force feel in this movie. They do some pretty wild stuff.

The Knights of Ren are silly and pointless. They do nothing for the entire movie except stand around a look menacing (ostensibly, anyway--they actually looked like bad cosplayers). Every scene they were in would have been better if they were just Death Troopers.

What the hell did Finn want to tell Rey? They kept bringing it up and then never actually answered it. Was he going to tell her that he's Force-sensitive?

How the hell does Rey still have Anakin's lightsaber? Didn't Rey and Kylo destroy it? It's a shame, too, given that constructing a lightsaber is an important part of Jedi training, and they made such a big deal of her training. The lightsaber she actually makes and has at the very end of the movie is so damn cool, too!

How the hell is Luke's X-wing still a complete X-wing? The door of Luke's hut was literally one of the S-foils. I don't actually care about that, but it's just something I noticed.

Keri Russell's character looked dumb as hell. Straight up looked like a fucking Power Ranger.

I'm really disappointed at the lack of the Ghost in the final battle. After seeing it in the first trailer, I was hoping it'd get a cool scene, and it doesn't do anything. I wasn't holding out a whole lot of hope of actually seeing Hera on screen, but I was expecting to see the Ghost do something, otherwise why show it in the trailer at all.

Hearing Ahsoka was cool! I thought I heard Kanan in there, too, but I couldn't tell.

Overall, it's a fun movie that feels like a completely contrived response to the stupidest complaints about the previous two films. It's a disappointing follow-up to The Last Jedi. The Last Jedi left the universe in a place where they story could have gone literally anywhere, and they went right back to well-tread ground, and had to hand wave a bunch of bullshit to get there.


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