You're not the only one. (Destiny)

by Kermit , Raleigh, NC, Monday, October 16, 2017, 17:36 (2396 days ago) @ CruelLEGACEY

Ironic you talk about respect, linking to a post where Miguel says my thinking is so backwards it’s not even worth acknowledging.

Indeed.

And you proved immediately you didn't listen to him then, and you're not listening to him now. Nor are you listening to me.

I'm shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you.

~M

You know how much I love ya Mal, and Mig too. Truly. But that thread, IMHO, is not a good example to point to if you want to draw attention to Mig's wisdom or insights.

I want to stress the fact that I'm not saying that Mig didn't make any valid points in that thread. Because he absolutely did. But after re-reading that entire thread a couple days ago, I feel now the way i felt then. Mig conducted himself atrociously in that thread. Some of those who know him well were quick to try to extract the valid points that Mig was making, while filtering out the vitriol. Kermit and Claude in particular made several wonderful, thoughtful, insightful posts. And they did so clearly, elegantly, and respectfully. But as I pointed out then, I do believe that there was a bit of a "turning a blind eye" going on with regards to the combative and condescending nature of Mig's words. By which I mean, if just about anyone else had made a post like that, the rest of DBO would have swung against it even harder than many here reacted. And for those of us who were posting regularly back then, there is also the memory that the forum had actually been overall quite chipper and friendly for at least a few weeks there, with the exception of 1 other thread that spiraled out of control due to another insulting and condescending post from Mig.

Again, I say all of this as someone who has nothing but love and respect for you, as well as Mig. And I really don't want to drag all that stuff back out into another shit-show. I once joked with Claude that DBO is a bit like an old married couple, with long memories and lots of unsettled arguments that go deep :) And I'm not discounting or contradicting the point you are making to Cody. I just think that of all the ways that certain problems around here could be addressed, that particular series of posts from Mig was possibly the worst conceivable way to try and solve things. <3

I won't rehash this, but my impression then and now is that Mig misjudged his audience and misjudged you (and I think he very quickly realized this). Mig has been a giant on BO sites, and helped build this place we all benefit from, but he wasn't as active as you on DBO, he hadn't played with people here like you had, etc. Your persona was well known among many, his less so at that particular juncture. His outsized inimitable rhetoric generated an outsized (negative) response.

The only thing I'll add is that D1 had obvious problems, so it made it easier to indulge in the kind of talk that bothered Mig (and me, honestly). It's been better around here since D2, but I still see what he was talking about. I go anywhere else, though, and it's 10x worse, as Durandal recently pointed out.