Yes, wait. (Off-Topic)

by cheapLEY , Sunday, April 21, 2019, 10:07 (1832 days ago) @ Ragashingo

I’m on mobile so I don’t have a great way to reply to all this, so this will be quick and does skip over some of what you said here.

As always it’s probably just down to communicating effectively in this manner is difficult. People will naturally interpret the same words in different ways.

But I honestly don’t know how to read “if you can’t admit that then I don’t know why you’re here and this conversation is over” as anything other than abrasive. It feels very much like “concede or get lost,” to me.

Likewise, I don’t see Cruel’s initial “I think you’re just seeing what you want to see” as very problematic, personally, but I can absolutely understand how and why you might interpret it the way you did. Partly, it’s because I play with Cruel all the time, and I’ve only played with you very few times. I personally feel like I know the way Cruel actually speaks far better than the way I know how you speak, and it gives me just a little more ability to parse what he’s actually saying and forgive some error in language.

It's dragging the forum down guys. I'd love to find some better way to work past this with the both of you. What can I do to help with that? And, will I ever see some concession from either of you for your parts in all this?

Oh, you mean something like this:

FWIW, I know that I am guilty of the same thing. My language is often harsher than I intend.

Or should we just never ever reply to each other ever again?

That would be unfortunate. I certainly hope that isn’t what happens.

Many times when I read these threads, I feel like I see you demanding people evaluate and reconsider things they’ve said in a very specific manner, but you ignore the effect of specific things you say at the same time.

I hold no grudge against you, no hard feelings at all. Truly. I like reading your posts on this forum, and if I was still playing Destiny I’d love to play with you.

As I said, I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you told me very specifically once not to, and I won’t ignore that. You seem to want to fight fire with fire, and I won’t blame you for that. But you have read offense in many things where I believe none was intended. That is easy for me to say, as those things were not aimed at me however.

I am far from innocent on this forum. I have made more than my fair share of emotional outbursts and accusations, there’s no denying that. I often feel like I am the least analytical person on this forum.

Again, I chalk a lot of this up to the difficulty of trying to interpret inflection in the written word. I completely understand having a viceral emotional reaction to something that is perceived as a personal attack.

I don’t know what the answer is.